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There is nothing like "this is how I am, I won't ever change, I will remain the same, take me or leave me". That is a perfect language of a man who lacks growth in life. As a woman, you get frustrated when you make the biggest mistake of your life by getting married to such a man.

We are never the same and we don't remain the same. It’s either you are growing or outgrown. You are either moving or everything around you is moving and leaving you behind in life, including plants and animals.

And time is the perfect measuring instrument for growth. What you have experienced, learnt or archived can be measured in the space of time.

We have seen grown-ups who behave like kids, such people are not growing. They are old but not matured. We are supposed to grow with our age, learn with time. Each day comes with its lessons and teachers.

The more you learn the better you become. God knows how important growth is in our lives, that is why He first blessed man to be fruitful and multiply. "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves on the earth." - Genesis 1:28 (MEV).

Fruitfulness goes beyond producing offspring, it also means, you should be able to add value to everything in your life. You can't be idle in life; venture into business if you are not getting your dream job, for you have been blessed to make profit and succeed.

You should be able to help people who come your way, for you have been blessed to do that. You should be useful in the community and the environment or family you find yourself. People should be able to benefit from you because you are a man of substance.

You can't be fruitful and remain the same. You can't be fruitful and not want to multiply. You are supposed to add value to life, time and anyone or thing you lay hands on. Bring the best out of it. You should have the culture of maintenance or taking good care of things.

When you marry and refuse to learn about marriage and your spouse, but remain adamant that, this is who you are, and if your wife can't live with you, it’s her problem, she will eventually outgrow you. And will get tired of you.

You can't have level headed discussion because you are lacking behind, you lack wisdom about things around you, and you lack understanding. Every little conversation in your relationship you turns into an argument.

People who refuse to grow are fools and they suffer greatly in life. They don't want to accept something new. Anything new threatens their peace and comfort.

If you want to be successful in any aspect of your life not just marriage, you have to keep moving. You don't remain at one place. Fear and failure is not part of you, for you have been blessed to succeed. You only become a failure when you quit or refuse to move or decide to remain in one place.

No matter how good a woman you are, you can't be good for a man who refuses to grow in life. A good woman is the wife of a man who can add value to her life. A man who can grow old with her.

In conclusion "The wise man looks ahead. The fool attempts to fool himself and won't face facts" - Proverbs 14:8 (TLB).

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Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.


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