Saturday, 7 July 2018

BEFORE YOU MARRY A DIVORCEE by Counselor Adofoli

There is nothing wrong getting married to a divorcee but do you know second marriages even break faster than first marriages? If it didn't work with the previous partner who was also a human being, a daughter or son of Adam, what makes you think you are the perfect replacement?

In most cases it is better for couples going through issues to resolve the conflict, the indifference and misunderstandings rather than divorcing for a new partner. You might think you need a new page in order to have the opportunity to rewrite with little or no mistakes, but you forget that you are not going to write the same things you wrote on the previous page.

Your next partner is new. Even if he or she has married before, you were not the one they got married to. They might have the opportunity not to repeat their old mistakes but they forget you are a new person so they are bound to commit a new set of mistakes.

If they didn’t learn and work on the past marriage, or didn’t have the heart, patience, time and right attitude to make the relationship work, what makes you think they will do that with you?

It is totally false if they think their spouse was solely responsible for the break, they had a partner to play. No matter how small their part was, if they were not willing to work at it, what makes you think they will be the best spouse for you?

You the singles who have never been married, why do you think marrying a divorcee is the best choice? If you have the option to choose between a new product and a used one, which one do you think is the best? Even if you think the old is better, be reminded that the only time the old is better than the new is when the new is fake.

It is better for two divorcees to get married or work on their marriages than it is for singles who have never experienced marriage.

I am in no way saying a divorcee is a bad person; I am just painting the reality you will be getting yourself into. Mind you, you cannot prevent a divorcee from getting in touch with the ex, especially if they have children. What if their children want their parents back?

What about if they are still carrying baggage from the previous relationship? Can you deal with that? Love is not when he or she is promising all the good things, it is when you have problems but value your union over the conflict. It is when you kill the conflict but save the relationship.

But here is a case your current partner preferred to kill the union and save the conflict. He or she is still carrying the memory, the hurt and the issues of the previous relationship, putting all the blame on the ex as the cause. What do you think such a person can bring on board? You can't give what you don't have.

If you find yourself dating a divorcee or you are divorcee but dating someone who has not married before, please don't turn this truth into hate because it feels uncomfortable. I am just telling you the reality.

If you have a problem with your spouse talk to God to change him or her for you and while He does that, love them, be grateful, give your best and always remember, what goes around comes around.

In conclusion "And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together” - Mark 10:9 (CEV).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.