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Monday, 2 July 2018

WHEN CAN YOU DATE? by Counselor Adofoli

This is one of the concerns of every teenager; they wish their parents would open up to them on this before they start encountering and accepting ‘I love you’. But many don't get this access because their parents are not their friends.

Since it’s hard to open up to someone who is not your friend, they will rather confide in their peers for answers.  This creates a lot of mess; some end up in relationships they have no business being in, and others don't even know what they are into in the first place.

When can you sit for a mock? You do that if you are a candidate for an examination. A mock in this case basically means fake, it’s like the original but not the actual. So mock exams means fake exams. Fake because the scores don’t count in your final exams. This is usually done to assess your current strength and see how you might perform in the real exams.

This is similar to dating. Dating can be described as a fake marriage. The purpose is to study someone for a real marriage. You do that when you are ready for marriage not when you are nowhere near marriage.

Before you agree to date someone, do ask yourself this crazy question "am I ready for marriage"?. If the answer is no, then you have no business dating anyone.

Again, you will settle down with only one man or woman as a spouse in the future, so what is the essence of dating a different person, knowing you are not ready for marriage? What kind of experience are you trying to gain?

Bear in mind all persons are not the same, what you learn about one person is not necessarily applicable to the other.

The bible rightly says "There is a right time for everything" in Ecclesiastes 3:1 (TLB). There is time to develop yourself, create the life you want before you study someone you want to share your life with.

The danger is when you don't first make time to work on creating the life you want and developing you, but rather spend the time looking for someone to be with, then you will end up forced to spend the rest of yourself dealing with a life you don't want. Your spouse is not you, you have control over yourself but you don't have control over your partner.

There is barely anything you can do if they can't give you what you want or are behaving in a way you don't want. Why will you waste your time looking for sunshine when you can create one, knowing you don't have control over what you find?

Your money is yours, whether someone gives you or not will not be a bother. But when you refuse to develop yourself and make your spouse your bank, what will you do when you need cash and the bank is closed?

If you don’t develop yourself for the right person, you can work so hard to make the relationship work but that won't cure the fact that you picked the wrong person to work with.

In conclusion "Even if you have to suffer for doing good things, God will bless you. So stop being afraid and don’t worry about what people might do" - 1 Peter 3:14 (CEV).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.