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Thursday, 5 July 2018

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A FOOL TO BE IN LOVE by Counselor Adofoli

In love, there is nothing like one person having to act as a fool whilst the other acts as the wise person. This is one of the mistakes people make in relationships and they end up becoming resentful, keeping lots of bitterness and hurt inside. You are hurt yet you can't express your feelings because you see yourself as the fool. To been in love is to be stupid together or wise together, not one being wise and the other a fool.

To love is about expressing your feelings to each other; it is also about listening to each other’s feelings. No one wants to listen to a fool; no one takes a fool seriously, so why will someone want to be a fool for the other?

Most relationships end today because either one person is not able to express their feelings to the other or their partner fails to understand them.

Some spouses try to play the head master role in a relationship, especially where the men are far older than their women; and they think it is a sign of maturity. They see their women as immature and refuse to listen to their small stuff. This kind of behaviour is neither healthy for marriages nor relationships. You are truly mature when you are sensitive not when you are insensitive. You are truly mature when you give attention to both the little and big stuff, things that might not make sense to a lot of people.

To be in a relationship with someone simply means you have agreed to listen to them and relate to them in a way they are comfortable with. Don't get into a relationship and act all bossy, always wanting things your way. It should rather be ‘our way’ because you are not in the relationship alone.

Healthy and lasting relationships are not built on age or how well you think you know someone; it is rather built on the foundation of working together.

It is funny we refer to a manipulative partner as wise. They lie, cheat, treat you badly and find a way to make you feel it's all your fault when you complain; so you think keeping quiet, dying inside, playing the role of the fool is what will sustain the relationship? Absolutely not. The very day after you die, you get replaced.

Many of us are fond of this habit; we take our partners for a fool, ignoring their needs in the relationship and yet want them to be happy. The question is, how many of us will refuse to water our plants and still expect to see a beautiful garden? It will rather kill the beauty of the garden.

You kill the happiness in your relationship each time you make your partner feel unwanted. This will make them feel like leaving, and they want to leave because they have no more reasons to stay. There is nothing left to fight for, except fighting for themselves; fighting for their own happiness.

In conclusion "Treat others as you want them to treat you. This is what the Law and the Prophets are all about" -Matthew 7:12 (CEV).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.