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You are supposed to be romantic towards the one you are married to and not the one you are studying for marriage. Sex has no place in dating or courtship. Sex was created for marriage and for the married. Somethings are not for everyone of which sex is one. You are not supposed to be naked with someone you are not married to.

That is why you are embarrassed or ashamed when you have sex with someone you are not married to, even when no one has said you did the wrong thing. In the first marriage which is the syllabus or God's map for all marriages, God instituted marriage and demonstrated how the business of marriage should be done.

Adam and Eve only knew themselves after marriage. Adam and Eve never had trust issues or insecurities. Adam and Eve became one in everything, even when they sinned against God, the two still lived together.

Adam trusted his wife to the extent that he didn’t question where she got the forbidden fruit from. Their marriage had such strong trust for each other because they didn’t defile themselves sexually. The two didn't have sex before they got married.

If you are dating or studying someone for marriage who is either far away or nearby, and they request for your naked picture, such a person wants to defile you before marriage. Such a person wants to corrupt you before marriage. He or she has no business seeing your naked body for they have no access to that. It is only marriage which gives them full right and access to your body.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NLT) “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife“. The Bible didn't refer to boyfriends and girlfriends.

If he or she is asking you for phone sex, which is the norm in a lot of the distant relationships these days, where people want you to close your eyes and imagine they are naked with you and also ask you to touch yourself in a way that is not right and against God, such a person is defiling you.

Don't fall prey to the lie that you are not romantic. You are not supposed to touch your body, if that is the case, sex won't be for the married.

This is one reason why he won’t marry you. Why should he marry a defiled body? Anytime they ask you for naked pictures, videos, remember they want to defile you. A man who wants you as a wife doesn't want you to be exposed. They want you kept, clothed and covered for themselves and not the public or someone else’s server.

We also need to know that whatever you send over the internet passes through someone before it gets to its destination. A transporter you don’t know. One day anything can happen to such images or videos where you have no control. There are things that can be transported but it should not be your naked pictures and video.

What happens when you don’t get married to them, but you got married to someone else, and later in the future these naked pictures get into the public domain? Will your marriage survive that?

Again, if they are asking for naked pictures, video and phone sex with you, it means they have being doing that with others or did that with others in the past. The question is, why didn't they marry those people in the past? What makes your story different?

If they have to leave or end the relationship because you can't fulfil their demands, you should be happy for that because you are doing the right thing. And it also means they were the wrong partner, but not because you are the problem.

In conclusion, "If you know what is right to do but you do not do it, you sin" - James 4:17 (NLV).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

By Counselor Adofoli

The presence of children in your marriage should not kill your romance or intimacy. Remember how many times you bath a day when you were going on a date? how fresh and clean you looked?. If you can keep your home and yourself like that, you will bring back the intimacy.

When was the last time you sent that cute sms? When was the last time you had that candle light dinner? When was last time you appreciated your partner’s efforts? How is your sex life? Most couples crave for sex when dating but turn their bedroom into courtroom when married, it’s time to go back!

To be continued...

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.

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