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Monday, 12 November 2018

NO COMMUNICATION MEANS NO RELATIONSHIP by Counselor Adofoli

Are you in a relationship where you are the only person doing the calling, checking up on them, and even sometimes when you call, they give you excuses that they are busy, tired, feeling sleepy, etc. Most at times they promise to call back but never do. 

But one way or the other it seems like they don't want to let go the relationship and you think the problem is communication; you think everything is fine and will get better once they make time to talk. But with all your complains, communication is not getting better as you want it. 

What you call lack of communication is not the problem. The fact is, your partner has no relationship with you and they are not telling you. Relationship is like bonding. Bonding with someone in the name of relationship makes them a part of you. 

You care about them, when they are not feeling well you feel it. When there is something wrong with them, you notice it. No one reminds you to remember them because they are part of your life. No one alerts you to call them because they are always present in your thoughts. 

It is impossible for a day to go by without you reaching out to them. You can't ignore or abandon them. Even when they hurt you, that is when you secretly check on them or think of them the most. 

But when you are in a relationship with someone whom you have to remind that you are a part of their lives, it simply means you are not part of their lives. That is why when they promise to call you back, they don't. They will remember you when they need something from you but not because you are in their lives. 

What many call a relationship is not a relationship. The distance between you and the one you call your partner should tell you the real meaning of closeness. You can't be close and yet they can't notice you. It just means you are far from them. Singles dating, start paying attention to this sign or red flag and stop wasting your lives. What you call no communication is in fact no relationship. 

It’s time you stop forcing people to remember you all the time all in the name of relationship. The best gift you can give those people is your silence. Stay silent you will be amazed how good or happy they will live without you in their lives. They not calling you or checking on you just mean they are happy without you. 

Such a person is not the right person for you. You have a wrong connection. They have a connection somewhere else which feels right for them. You forcing yourself to be connected to them will only give you shocks. Shocks of pains, hurt, etc. It is time for you to look for your right pair to create the right connection. With the right person, your life will be lit up. At the end of the day, you will understand relationships are just like electric currents. Right connections give life, wrong connections take life.

If you have to be anything in someone's life as far as relationship is concerned, be the sky; wherever they go, you are with them. If you will be any colour in their lives, be blue, the very colour that colours their sky.

In conclusion, So be careful how you act; these are difficult days. Don’t be fools; be wise: make the most of every opportunity you have for doing good" - Ephesians 5:16 (TLB).

# Dear Friends,
The only ones who truly know your story are the ones who helped you write it. Don't let people who didn't help you judge you.

You should also be mindful of those you surround yourself with as friends. Majority are just stomach direction.

God bless you, surround you with people who truly love you. People who will help you and save you from those who want to bring you down. 

# It's my prayer, the people you hang around with will remember you in their prayers just like they do in their gossip 

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.